Inspired by his father, a pioneering Urhobo film comedian, Onaibe Desmond, popular as Destalker, said he found his true calling in comedy despite holding a degree in Public Administration. His varied career, including jobs as an undertaker and okada rider, showcases his perseverance. Now at 40, he reflects on his experiences and inspirations in this interview.
You hold a degree in Public Administration from Enugu State University of Science and Technology. How did you transition from public administration to comedy?
I like educating people when it comes to this question; I am the only comedian who is currently administering what I studied. Public administration means to communicate with the public, and I am currently doing that comically. I should be in government but God had other plans for me, talking to people on how to become themselves and achieve their God-given purpose. Public administration and comedy is the same thing; the only difference is that I am funny.
Who were the comedians that inspired you while growing your feathers as a comedian?
The first person is my father; he was the first Urhobo film comedy actor in Delta State and he is still acting. That’s the main reason why I always start my jokes with “my papa say”. I also grew up watching “I Go Die”, to the extent that I grew up using a version of his name “I don die” in Enugu, because since we have “I go die”, “I go save”, I should simply answer “I don die”, but the name kept working against me to the extent that I was attempting suicide, and I understood why Japheth in the Bible had to change his name. I learnt “I go die” confidence, and fearlessness, and I took the title 40 and fearless. Another comedian I respect so much is Gandoki, these are the comedians I could comfortably watch for the whole day without getting tired. I remember my father used to go to Onitsha to buy the CDs for Nights of a Thousand Laughs, and we would all watch at home, he loved paying more attention to Gandoki and I Go Die’s part. It then dawned on me that for my father to be paying much attention to these guys I have a lot to learn from them. My father, Gandoki and I Go Die are natural in comedy because they do it effortlessly.
Before finding success in comedy, you worked as an undertaker. Can you share the story of what led you to leave that job and pursue comedy full-time?
The truth is what you are born to do will take you farther than what you are trained to do. I was trained to be an undertaker, we used to attend rehearsals, and I also learnt to dance there. During the Makossa era, I used to dance and I kept winning the best dancer award in competitions held in Onyoru Street back. I always say in my interviews that in everything you do, always enjoy the process, when I was doing undertaker, I was doing it for fun, when we attend events and they give us money, my share might be the smallest but I found fulfillment from people watching me dance and enjoying my performance. I cared less about the money. I will say this, people who pursue money don’t make money; money is like a butterfly, when you pursue a butterfly you can’t catch it, except you stand still and it comes to you, that’s another conversation on its own because I know many people will disagree. Making it in life is not about hard work, if it’s by hard work I would not be here today, as I had to go crazy a little bit. I also worked as an okada rider because of our upbringing and the poverty level of our fathers. They believe that once they have trained you through school, you have to give back once you graduate. This is where the family background is faulty; training your child is your duty as a parent, not that you are training them so they can give back to you once they graduate. At the time I graduated from school, I had to turn to Okada business because the seniors I knew who graduated from school were still very much looking for work, so it was clear I had no hope, and I decided to create my opportunity for myself. From secondary school, I detested the 9-5 work life, and in my first year in school I read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” which changed the way I saw life, and I always wanted to create an empire. At the time I was working as an okada man I was enjoying the work; there were days when I could not even pay my daily remittance to the soldier who owned the bike and you know what that means, but at least I was enjoying it. I will say this, you might be working somewhere and you think you are not being compensated adequately for your work but it all boils down to time, there were days I was doing stand-up comedy for four hours for the sum of twenty thousand naira but today I know what an hour of mine costs. The higher you go the easier it is. Today people book me just for a surprise, five to seven million naira just to surprise their loved ones. This is all down to me enjoying the process and not putting money first, when money makes you happy, the day the money stops coming, your life loses all meaning. So just enjoy the process, there will be challenges along the way in the form of bad people that will make you doubt your choice.
What was that performance that stood out for you in your journey so far?
Truly every comedian has a breakthrough performance. Firstly I want to give kudos to this person, Ajebo, he gave me my first platform; he respected and valued my craft more than I did myself. His platform was the place other big comedians started noticing me. Another person is Acapella, he mentioned to me that I was too funny to be performing at the start of shows, and I was doing that at the time to perform and run to another gig that I had lined up, but his advice was that I need to take the risk to grow, which I did. I went to Ajebo’s show, and he gave me the platform, which gave birth to my viral joke about the Indonesian rupee that was the event somebody gave me five thousand Indonesian rupee, and at the time I didn’t know the money was 1400. Acapella gave me a platform in Ghana, then Julius Agwu’s show on Christmas Day 2019. Julius gave me N50,000 to come for that show but I was not there for the money. I want to say whatever it is you want to do in life, always be sure of what you want; this will aid you in knowing how to get it.
What was the journey like coming to Lagos?
When I came to Lagos I needed a starting point, even though I had been doing comedy in Enugu State. I needed to make my mark here in Lagos and I started a road show, dancing at company road marketing events, it got to a point where I had to quit the road show, my boss at the time asked me these questions; where are you going to start from, who knows you, who will give you shows to perform? And I told him these are the questions I aim to answer. On your journey to success, there will be criticisms even from your immediate family. The scripture says even a man’s foe is a member of his family. At first, my father was against comedy, even as a comedian and it was mainly because the type of comedy he practised was the local one that was reliant on events and mostly low revenue. My father said every parent has a hole to fill before their child grows up, but if they don’t fill that hole you will have to fill it when you grow up, and at the time you are trying to fill the hole, your mates whose parents have filled the hole have gone far. I also did Okada riding, now an MC, the only difference is I did the job of an undertaker to be different.
You’ve won several awards, including the Naija FM Comedian of the Year in 2019. What do these accolades mean to you, and how have they impacted your career?
These awards are an appreciation of honour, appreciation of dedication, consistency, and persistence, and they mean a lot to me because they show that people see my work, watch me, and are happy and encouraged by what I do. These awards and recognition motivate and encourage me to do more. As I always say, appreciation is an application for more.
Comedy often comes from a place of joy and resilience but sometimes mixed emotions. What are some of the happiest moments in your career so far?
My happiest moment is ‘Warri Again’ by AmajuPinnick. We were on a call before this interview, and I have gotten to a level where I can talk for hours, whereby some people constantly complain of not being able to contact him because he is always busy, what I understand is, create value, be important enough, nobody will create value for you, it has to be done by you.
I have gotten to a level where people I aspire to meet call me for meetings. Just create value, and know what you want, when you don’t know what you want, it leads to frustration, frustration is the elder brother to depression, and suicide is the father.
You’ve been open about your struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. How did you navigate those dark times, and what advice would you give to others facing similar challenges?
Firstly, somebody said if you don’t have a vision you cannot buy a television. First of all, you must have a projection of who you want to be. An instance while in school in Enugu State, I used to trek every day from my house to school, and I was always happy doing so, because at the time I saw it as a process. The secret here is to project yourself to where you want to be, the day I removed my eyes from my projection I started being depressed, and that was where suicide came in.
The story of the casket breaking while you were an undertaker is both tragic and oddly humorous. How do you find the strength to turn such tough experiences into comedy?
I will always tell people I cannot run out of this industry unless I retire. I do reality comedy and knowing the country we are in, things happen every day. The day I stop being funny is the day things stop happening in this country. I do reality comedy, I am 40 years of age, imagine the experience I have had right from my young age, and I have not even shared up to 10 years of the experience. Even as I share them, I am still growing, other experiences are piling up waiting for them to be said. People who do reality jokes cannot fade, now I am at a level where I do scriptural, Bible stories, motivational and inspirational comedy. I know the usage of words, I add humour to it and a normal story looks funny. A story that happened, I will exaggerate it because I have confidence in words because the essence of comedy is to make you laugh. People doubt my stories about being an undertaker, but they were all experiences that have brought me up to this point. I can speak at any gathering, regardless of the location or gathering, and the ability to know what to say, when to say it, how to say it, is where education comes in. As a comedian, you have to know what joke to say at different places, not being at a child dedication and making jokes about burial, or being in the church and making prostitute jokes. As a creative, you have to understand your positioning. Life can be like a rubber band, you won’t know how expansive you can be until someone stretches you. I enjoyed every process till I got here. In the process, learn, and have fun in anything you are doing, even if there is no fun, create it, find it you will not get tired of that thing. All I am trying to say is enjoy the process, don’t put money first.
How do you balance the demands of your career with personal time and self-care?
First of all, I don’t have a personal life; everything about me is my career. The truth is I can’t separate my life from my career because even on normal days, normal gist with people they will still be laughing. That is why I say there is a clear distinction between what you are born to do and trained to do. A person who is trained to do it will have to hold his phone and run through his jokes before going on stage; that means if you lose your phone two minutes before going on stage you cannot perform.
They say life begins and becomes funnier after 40, how do you view this milestone, and what reflections do you have on your life and career so far?
First, a fool at 40 na who no make am at 40. Life begins at 40 na who don make am before 40. The truth is I am so happy, and what good thing about my happiness is that it is contagious; my happiness influences people around me. When I say I am a comedy catalyst, it is for a reason. It is a big milestone for me, you have a lot of reflections about your life so far and the funny thing is I don’t regret anything, I have noticed that the older you grow, you begin to see life differently. There are things I did in my 30s that I now see as waste of funds. One thing I might say I regret is carrying some people hoping we get to the top together only to realise they don’t want to see me at the top. I pray for a more discerning spirit to see people who are betrayers, people who don’t want me to be happy, people that your happiness irritates. One thing is certain, you cannot use a poverty mindset to pursue success.
What are some of your goals for the next decade?
I was asked in an interview in London, and I will rephrase, I want to be the reason for people being happy, I want to see people progress in every chosen field they find themselves; I want to see people succeed, I want to see people become stars. On Nedu’s podcast, I mentioned that everyone can become a star and there will still be space for more. It costs nothing to be nice, help people, and give as much as you can, legacy is when someone becomes something and you are the reason. Those items you have that you are not using anymore, either a car, phone, accessories, watch clothes, call a family member, friend, or relative and just give it out, they will be grateful.
Looking back, what advice would you give to your younger self just starting in comedy?
There is a book I am writing on this, and people keep asking about it, just note that good things take time. First of all, believe in yourself, and don’t believe that anyone will help you, if help comes, take it, but don’t wait for help. Don’t believe that you need to meet anyone before you become somebody, you cannot programme your destiny.
For the younger ones coming up, don’t be in a haste, I mentioned I am writing a book titled ’ The 10 Laws of Poverty, how to become poor successfully’, and another one is ‘How to commit suicide without Bothering Your Neighbours’, it’s funny, that is why I am a comedian. Some people believe that once they meet Destalker their life will change, but if you meet Destalker and you are not prepared, if he gives you the opportunity, what do you have to say? You cannot expect N10 million with a student account, first, you have to prepare, proper preparation prevents poor performance. Preparation is why when I featured on Warri Again, I killed it, AY saw my performance and was impressed. At the time of looking for a breakthrough continue preparing, and create jokes, if you are given one minute in a show, what is that one thing you will say that will make everywhere erupt, your preparation will buy you time. In every field there is competition, do yours differently and get different results.
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