No man can bully you if you know your worth —Dr Jaiyeola Kuti

No man can bully you if you know your worth —Dr Jaiyeola Kuti

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Dr. Jaiyeola Kuti, a renowned actress, businesswoman, movie producer, brand ambassador and influencer, is the Chief Executive Officer of Jaylex Aesthetic Production. The versatile actress, known for many movies and TV series she has featured in and who believes in hard work and improving on past successes, speaks with YEJIDE GBENGA-OGUNDARE on life as a married actress, women in leadership, defying societal expectations and other issues.

 

How can women stand up to bullies in the society especially in the work place?

If you know your onions no man, I repeat, no man can bully you anywhere. I am a fulfilled actress and I know what I want in life so no man can just come and start bullying me up and down. It is your stand and principle and how you carry yourself that will determine how people will deal with you. People are funny; they will try and size you up and see the kind of level you are and if they weigh you and you fall below their expectations; then forget it, they will bully you to submission

 

How can women prove their worth to be seen beyond being cheer leaders and sex objects?

It is a personal option. That is me for you as Jaiyeola Kuti. You are what you let people believe you are. I always tell some of these ladies that always tell me whenever they see me that “Aunty Jaiye Kuti, I want to be like you,” the first thing I always tell them is you can’t be like Jaiye Kuti, you have to create an identity for yourself. Do you know how Jaiye Kuti reached where she is today? And many of them will be like “what has she gone through that I can’t” but it’s not like that. You as a lady or woman must be focused and not try to be like someone else. You might say you admire the personality of someone and that you will like to toe her path of success but not be like her. It’s this trying to be like someone else or competing with them that makes most of them desperate enough to be sex toys before men, because if a man sees desperation in you, he will exploit it to the fullest which in turn could make you a sex toy to him. You have to be talented in whatever you do so the men or even the entire populace will not see you as only a sex object

 

How do you maintain your person in the face of societal expectations?

I have always been a friendly person, so I know what is expected of me . I draw a line between my social life and my career and like I always state, my husband has been so good to me. So whenever I am in a social gathering or on location, I make people see the person they have been longing to see.

 

Can you compare being an actress in the last decade and now?

I have spoken about this several times. There must always be a change. The only thing in life that is constant is change. You cannot tell me that this is the way journalism is being practiced ten years ago, so you should also expect it in our profession too. So a lot has improved in terms of so many things, though you may talk of moral decadence but that is general in every field and profession.

 

How is life as an actress?

We thank God; life as an actress has been so good. We can’t thank God less. And what a big way to end the year with the premiere of a movie titled “Scarred” which was produced by my humble self and Adeleye Fabusoro. It was one movie that really took my time this year and I thank God for the success.  Being an actress though also has its demerit, as you will see some people harassing you for something or another. Anyway, we are used to that. In between, aside being an actress, I am also an ambassador to many companies which I believe was through my dexterity in acting. I am not being arrogant here but I believe I have paid my dues as an actress and I give God all the glory

 

Can women be good leaders?

Why not? Women can be of good leaders. We have had a lot of women leaders across the universe. I don’t need to be mentioning names, because we have women leaders in the mould of Indiana Ghandi and the great recently departed Queen Elizabeth. We once had a woman as the president of Liberia, so what are we saying when we ask if a woman can be a good leader? The only thing I see is that Nigeria or Nigerians don’t just believe in women being a leader and the reason for this, I can’t really say.

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What is the role of mentorship and networking in the life of women?

Without bias or being sentimental, women have been so influential and have been vanguards, leading  in diverse development programmes in the country and  Nigeria, if we are to be sincere with ourselves, has not done well in terms of giving women the chance to explore their potentials; I don’t  know the reasons for this. But back to your question, I can say the roles of mentorship and networking in the life of women has helped many women because many women do have a particular goal they are to achieve in life and if you ask them, they will tell you they are looking at someone as their mentors. I have gone to many seminars where I was to give lectures to the participants, but it would interest you that some women in the conference did not even wait for me to give lecture before they started shouting my name in ecstasy that they have achieved their goals of coming to the event, saying seeing me as thier mentor alone is fulfilling to them. So I can say it influences a lot but it’s beyond that. We, the celebrities that these people are seen as mentors should be of good influence

 

How will you rate Nigeria on the 35% affirmative action?

It is very difficult to rate but personally, I think it’s not uhuru yet. I strongly believe that  we can do more.

 

There’s a believe that actress have bad marriages, what is your take on this?

I don’t know why people always hammer on we actresses having  bad marriages, in as much as I am not holding forth for any one here, I want to believe it is not only the actresses that are not having good marriages,  there are other people in other professions that are having bad marriages but the fact that people focus on us because we are always in the searchlight is what makes it look like that’s the norm. People will not mention those of us that have homes and good marriages. We have aunty Joke Silva as a good example. And so many others. Having said that,   I want to also chastise some of our colleagues who do not separate thier professional life from real life. As a person, I don’t mix my acting profession with my home. I am giving myself as a good example because I have never had issues or controversy in my matrimonial home simply because I drop the tag celebrity from my marriage. The problems most of us have is mixing our marriages with our profession and that leads to ego in the marriage, and you know men don’t like to play second fiddle in relationships or in marriages, this will lead to crisis in marriages or relationships which may eventually lead to a crash of the union. So, in  summary,  I can say actresses do have bad marriages because they don’t separate thier marriages from their professions.


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