THE next categories of these roles are exclusive to the wife, and first among them is the need for her to surrender herself to the authority of her husband. Her allegiance is to her husband. She rarely goes to see her parents once she was given in marriage. Her loyalty to the husband is foremost. Instructions given by her husband are paramount over and above those which may come from her parents because that is the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW). The woman must take permission duly from her husband for whatsoever she may want to involve herself in. An authentic narration from Nahnah Aisha (R.A.) subscribes to this tradition.
Second is the sacred role of a faithful watch which the woman must assume over her husband’s assets, including herself. Muhammed Ibn Saheed Ibn Saab (R.A.) narrated that the Prophet (SAW) spoke of three indications which confirm a Muslim as very fortunate in the sight of Allah (SWT). The Prophet (SAW) mentioned a dutiful wife who keeps her chastity at all times and keeps watch over her husband’s property in his absence. The Prophet (SAW) said such a wife remains abundantly favoured in the sight of Allah (SWT) and the husband, too, shall relish her goodness. Reverse shall be the case for a Muslim considered very unfortunate and ill-fated, because his wife is unfaithful and negligent about his belongings. This narration buttresses the significant role the wife needs to undertake by safeguarding her sacredness and all other belongings of her husband when he may be away from home. The husband is expected to be glowing in happiness for the gift of a virtuous and pious woman with whom he is blessed by Allah (SWT).
Close to this is the duty that bars the woman from having association or affinity with any other man. Her doors and vicinities should be out of bounds to other men who are not her relations. She should not keep company of any unidentifiable adult male. The Prophet (SAW) insisted that a woman whose husband has provided for all her material needs upon his leaving on a journey does not have much justification leaving her home. The Prophet (SAW) admonished the Ummah to hold such a woman responsible for any evil done onto her by unforseen circumstances, particularly because she has no business being outside the roof of her legitimate home. In fact, the Prophet (SAW) invoked heavily on women in the Ummah who go out of their husbands’ shelter undressing themselves or being undressed by other men, even when intentions behind the act were nothing amorous. The Prophet (SAW) invoked that such women would never enjoy the good sight of Allah (SWT) [Maliyah Alhudahiyu (R.A.) narrated].
Equally, Islam mandates wives to take instructions from their husbands. These directives become golden inasmuch as they do not run foul of all that the Qur’an prescribes and are treated in the Khitaab Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW). A woman has no other principal in the whole wide world besides the man she is legitimately married to. She must practically take to his orders, albeit orders which must not contravene Allah (SWT)’s sacred injunctions in the Qur’an and tradition of the Prophet (SAW) in the Hadith. Read Surah An-Nisa, Ayat 34 (Qur’an 4:34) for more insights. Spiritual benefits abound for the wife whose affairs are guided and led by her husband’s authority.
One of the authentic Hadith holds that such a woman shall be offered a blank cheque on the Day of Qiyaohm (Day of Accountability) to choose freely from one of the eight levels of the Paradise (Jahnah) for Allah [SWT]) is well pleased with her conducts here on earth. Another benefit that comes her way is Allah (SWT)’s magnanimous acceptance of every bit of her ibaadat’lah (acts of worship) such as her eeman (faith in monotheism), sohlat (the five obligatory prayers), saawm (the yearly obligatory fasting) etc.
Ancillary matters abound with a woman taking orders and instructions unquestionably from her husband. For instance, she should not dole out a grains of food items (rice, beans, millet, corn, bread, meat, fish, even water) belonging to either her or her husband except she takes prior permission from the husband. She must be alive to and respond to her husband’s intimate desire of her, even at times when she may not be well disposed. Otherwise, she stands the wrath of Allah (SWT) till the break of a new day.
Taking the express permission of the husband for virtually all she does on a daily basis is equally important for the woman to uphold as a duty to the husband. She must always seek the permission and consent of her husband whenever she must go to attend to matters outside her home. She must carry the husband along in every major decision she may have to take. She cannot afford to take him out of the picture in any matter before or after the husband knows about such. As stringent as it were, the woman should not engage in any of the very noble acts of extra-rewarding ibaadah (religious worship to Allah[SWT] alone) which are required but voluntary if she has not obtained express permission of her husband. Examples of these include fasting in the tradition of the Prophet (SAW) on Mondays, Thursdays and 13th, 14th, 15th day of every lunar month, undertaking if umrah pilgrimage (lesser hajj), all forms of charity, get-well visitats to the sick in hospitals, withdrawal into spiritual seclution in the final days of lunar month of Ramadan (I’tikaf), as well as pilgrimage to Mecca and Medina on hajj.
Muslim women must also avoid causing their husbands any kind of harm, misfortune or calamity. The Prophet (SAW) in an authentic Hadith made it known that any evils caused deliberately by a woman onto her husband is duly noted in Jahnah (Paradise) by virgins of Paradise in the High Heaven where the husband shall eventually take an everlasting abode with these virgins who shall dispense evil invocations on such a woman inflicting unprovoked and unwarranted pains and inhuman treatment against their husband in paradise.
It is equally considered a very huge responsibility for a Muslim woman to take absolute care of the day-to-day well-being of her husband. The entire chores in the household ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning and general hygiene in the house are within the purview of the woman. It was reported in the Hadith (authentic) that Nana Aisha (R.A.) was just too overwhelmed with her daily domestic chores that she chose to request the Prophet (SAW) to employ the service of a housemaid who would do some of the chores. However, the Prophet (SAW) discouraged her, pleading with her that it would be rewarding for her to continue to discharge those chores, and in addition she should begin suplicating to Allah (SWT) with ‘Adhkar’ (selected rendition which a pious Muslim does regularly by praising and adoring Allah (SWT) in exaltation), saying “Subhanalah” 33 times, Alhamdulilah 33 times and “Allahu Akhbar 34 times.
Part of expectations from a dutiful wife is her gratitude to the husband out of genuine sense of appreciation in all forms towards great gestures extended to her by the husband, intimacy between them inclusive. The Prophet (SAW) particularly insisted on this very simple but significant role for the wife, saying that one of the reasons women are considered dominant residents of Jah-ahnam (hellfire) may be for their sheer flippancy when they should acknowledge every favour and kindness done onto them by their husbands and show appreciation to them.
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