Ebele Iyiegbu, popularly known as Lush Cubana, is a lawyer, an entrepreneur, a humanitarian, and the founder of the KIEK Foundation. She is the author of the book ‘Wifily Ever After’ and the wife of the businessman and socialite, Obinna Iyiegbu, also known as Obi Cubana. In this interview by Kingsley Alumona, she speaks about her work, her book, her husband, among others.
As a child, what did you dream of becoming?
Like every normal child, I dreamt of becoming a lawyer, a medical doctor, an engineer, a pilot, a president, and all. But of all my dreams, being a lawyer and someone who impacted lives positively remained at the top of the list.
I’m a lawyer, and I’m also developing myself to get better at fulfilling my destiny. As a child, my dad was my most significant influence and role model, especially for all he did for the less privileged. Looking back now, I must confess that there have been no regrets. I’m touching lives through the KIEK Foundation.
These days, what are you passionate about?
These days, when it comes to entrepreneurship and giving back to society, all I want to see is impact. This is because our society has many needs and problems begging for solutions. Any entrepreneurial venture that is not designed to provide a solution will be another venture that has been established to establish one.
You are the founder of Ahava Coach. Tell us about it.
We started the Ahava Coach in 2022 to provide a platform for women of all ages and walks of life to share their valuable knowledge and experiences in self-love, self-discovery, and self-actualisation.
For a long time, I have wanted to help women discover and design the loftiest version of their whole selves. At the Ahava Coach, we empower women to find their purpose, confidently express themselves, and establish their leadership vision while building the skill set necessary to realise it. So far, we have been able to make some considerable impact, as women who are clients of what we are doing have shared their amazing testimonies with us.
You are also the founder of the KIEK Foundation. What is the inspiration behind it?
As I mentioned earlier, my dad played a significant role in my life as a child. I saw him positively impact the lives of those around him through his philanthropic deeds. Luckily, I married a man who loves to impact lives. When some of our close friends saw how we were touching people’s lives, they suggested we formalize it, and we did, which led to the KIEK Foundation. KIEK came from the first letter of my children’s name.
I initially wanted to stick with poverty alleviation, but I had to narrow it down to children and women. When people ask me why I am focusing on education, I tell them I love the freedom education affords. Even though my parents never attended a formal school, they made it a point to start reading at their old age. My dad was passionate about education. Even up till his death, he insisted that I get a PhD. He even promised to sponsor me, not minding I was already in my husband’s house. The numerous lessons I have learned from my experience in the field have changed my perspective on life and will live with me forever.
Do you have any intention of fulfilling your father’s wish of having a PhD? What three things do you miss about your father?
Yes, it is something I’m still working towards. The three things I miss about him are his wisdom, kindness, and unwavering love — he was kind to a fault, and he had love for everyone around him; his laughter, sense of humour, and positive energy; and his advice, words of encouragement, and constant prayers.
Your husband — Obinna Iyiegbu, popularly known as Obi Cubana — is a socialite. How do you cope with his lifestyle and the unpleasant rumours associated with his businesses?
Being married to a socialite and celebrity like Obi Cubana comes with its unique challenges but also brings immense joy and fulfilment, knowing the kind of man I’m married to.
Considering his kind of person and the kind of business he does, there are bound to be many rumours about him. I have learned so much by being his wife for 16 years. This is how I have learned to manage whatever information about him that I come across:
Communication: My husband and I communicate openly about everything, which helps us address any concerns or rumours that may arise.
Values and principles: Despite the glitz and glamour, we have our values and principles, and we regularly remind ourselves of what truly matters — our family, our kids, the love we share, and our commitment to one another.
Ignore: Once you understand that not every rumour deserves your attention, it will be possible for you to ignore the distraction and focus on the positive aspects of your life.
What has also helped me greatly is that I am involved in running some of his businesses by seeking avenues for collaboration to achieve common goals.
You recently authored the book ‘Wifily Ever After: 15 Lessons Marriage Taught Me’. What is the inspiration behind the book?
‘Wifily Ever After’ is a book that is dear to me. When I was about to mark my 15th wedding anniversary, I thought to share some of the lessons I have learned in 15 years with young men and women who intend to get married to let them know that marriage requires hard work.
The book is a practical guide and approach to a successful marriage. In the book, I shared what had worked for me and my husband in our marriage over the last 15 years.
In ‘Wifily Ever After’, I shared tips on how to approach marital difficulties with patience and understanding — and, most of all, to always make understanding and your love for your partner the foundation of your relationship. The 15 lessons I shared in the book are reflections of my journey and the trials and tribulations many married couples face daily.
You have been married for 16 years now. What major lessons has marriage taught you?
Being married to Obinna Iyiegbu for the past sixteen years has been amazing and fulfilling. If I had the opportunity in the next life, he would be the person I would get married to. During our 16th wedding anniversary, I have been able to reflect on the journey, and here are the five major lessons that being married to this amazing man has taught me:
Prioritise communication: Every couple must make open and honest communication the foundation of their marriage. Although he is quite an exceptionally busy individual, we have found a way to prioritise communication in our home, and we have also learned to share our thoughts, feelings, and concerns without hiding anything.
Patience and understanding: Every couple must learn to be patient and understanding with one another. No human is perfect. We have learned to accommodate each other’s flaws and weaknesses while working to help each other become better.
Intentionality: Couples must put effort into building their relationships because love doesn’t just happen. I call my husband Mr Intentional because he has shown me the importance of being proactive in nurturing our marriage by making a conscious effort to show love, appreciation, and support towards me. I have also learned to reciprocate the gesture.
Teamwork: For the past 16 years, my husband and I have worked as a team, supported each other’s dreams, and worked towards helping each other achieve set goals. This is the secret to our accomplishments, which has eventually made our marriage a more fulfilling one.
Support: Once one partner is growing and the other is not, there will be some frustration in the home, and it will not end well. This is why you must support and encourage your partner’s self-development so you both can have a fulfilling marriage.
In managing your businesses, how do you draw the line between home and work?
In as much as balancing business and marriage is a challenging feat, it is doable if you set your mind to it. As for me, here are the strategies I have adopted over the years to manage it, especially when it comes to drawing the line between work and marriage.
Discipline and boundary setting: I do my best not to bring my business into the home, and to have substantial time to dedicate myself to the demands of the house.
Separating the workspace from the home: I love to encourage married women who work from home to create a space within the house for their office rather than just making everything open. Leaving it open will make it difficult to switch between the role of a businessperson and the role of a wife and mother.
Delegation: One of the easiest ways to drain yourself of energy and motivation is when you try to do everything all by yourself. Learning to delegate and using my assigned tasks to deliver are two major ways I have adopted in managing my home, business, and philanthropy activities.
Prioritise: Whenever I wake up in the morning, and after saying my prayers, I create a to-do list of the tasks I must implement for the day and follow them strictly.
Healthy living: This includes eating right and exercising. Yes, exercising may not be fun, but the reward is exciting. A healthy lifestyle helps you with the needed fuel to move to the next level.
A reliable support system: My husband has an amazing support system, and I do not take it for granted. This has gone a long way in helping me to do all that I have been able to do and achieve today.
If you were to advise young Nigerian women about business and marriage, what would that be?
For an average Nigerian woman, it’s challenging to balance business and marriage because certain expectations are expected of a woman regarding marriage and business. Nevertheless, these are some of the principles that I have adopted that have gone a long way in helping me to balance both.
Passion: If you must manage a home and run a business as a married woman, it must be a business you’re passionate about. Going into a business you’re passionate about will help you manage the pressure from the home front.
Communication: When you are married to a man like my husband, who is a busy individual, you must find a communication strategy that works perfectly for both of you to balance the demands of work alongside the expectations from home.
Learning and capacity development: Someone else has passed through whatever you are going through. That is why I encourage married women in business to constantly develop their capacity by attending seminars, lectures, and capacity-building exercises, as it will help them learn, unlearn, and relearn.
Discipline: Discipline around finance, time management, and emotion are important.
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