Kissing is often considered a means to an end, based on the perception of people that sex is sufficient pleasure on its own. Though couples start with it, as soon as things start heating up, this vital aspect of love making is jettisoned. This is wrong.
Locking lips throughout the sexual experience, and not just at the beginning, makes the pleasure high. This is because there are tons of nerve endings in your lips that stimulate the desire. Smooching before, during, and after intercourse can be extremely arousing and satisfying.
However, not all couples are created equal. Also, not many are aware that mouth-to-mouth moves intensify each stage of sex.
Just as an Olympic runner needs to stretch his body before a race, you both require an equally strategic warm-up before launching into full passion. You don’t need to come on too strong with your lips as not to accelerate your excitement too quickly. Instead, enter the pleasure zone with ease, gradually increasing your arousal.
Give yourselves little pecks all over the face – everywhere except the lips. As the excitement grows, try to trace the outline of the mouth with the tip of your tongue. Normally, you may be aching to envelop each other’s mouth, but don’t let this happen too quickly.
Move on to open-mouth kissing, without using the tongue. Most times, husbands try to fence off their wives. Pull away from him for a minute, and then return to kissing. The point is to be playful and work him into a desire-filled passion by not giving him exactly what he wants.
You can add more playful tricks to the mix by gently sucking and lightly nibbling on his lower lip every now and then. It will feel so good; he’ll instinctively return the favour.
Once you are both fired up, this is the perfect time to engage each other’s mouths, no tongues barred. Passionate kisses elevate your blood pressure and cause your heart to beat faster, getting you more excited and making it easier for you to reach orgasm.
As the wife, you may lead in the game by undressing seductively and telling your husband to sit on a chair. Then straddle him so that you are facing each other eye-to-eye. As he focuses on thrusting his tongue into yours, you can take his tongue into your mouth, and very lightly suck on it, such that your lip action mimics the rhythm of his hips.
Nothing stops a wife from varying the intensity and depth of the lip-locks as the game continues, by giving her husband long, soulful and offensive-like kisses for a couple minutes. Then surprise him by keeping your lips open and pressing them against his hard, as if you want to devour him. Then return to the soulful, zealous kissing. Maintain the back-and-forth, ensuring that he doesn’t guess what’s coming next, which will amplify his excitement the more.
It is not outlandish if a wife lets her husband know the passionate pressure quickly building-up inside her by switching up her moves and trying something even more erotic. Try to unlock your lips periodically, and spin your tongue around your spouse’s in a circular motion as if you are licking ice-cream from its container. He would appreciate the fact that you’re in control and essentially taking possession of his entire mouth. No man ever rejects this. With this type of gesture, an average naïve husband would know how to return such kisses.
I am so certain that this erotic mouth work will hasten passion and orgasm; and by the time you are about to reach the climax, you can as well give in to your fervour and let yourself go absolutely wild. Just follow your body’s cravings. Being mouth-to-mouth as you peak or reach climax can make for a much stronger, more intense orgasm because all your senses of taste, smell and touch are in agreement and converging at once as if you’re on sensual overload.
If you can still bear it, both of you can softly suck on each other’s necks just as you’re about to reach your peak. The pressure of your lips against your skin would amplify the build-up you’ve been feeling inside and create an even more powerful need for that heavenly release. Go ahead and run your tongue back and forth along the roof of each other’s mouth. This is a place that rarely gets any attention; the more unique the sensation, the more exciting it is for both of you.
I normally tell wives to let their husbands know how hungry you are for them by gently biting their back and shoulders, some unusual spots on their bodies that can take a little erotic feeling. You can run your tongue around the area and kiss it. If you’re in a face-to-face passion position, supersize your orgasm by kissing him at the same time that you’re climaxing.
Though you may want to keep the post orgasmic residue burning, your husband’s fire is probably pretty much extinguished at this point. After sex, sleep-inducing chemicals are released in men, so your husband’s mind and body will be more intent on sleeping than kissing. But there are still ways to get the time you crave together as this is the time most wives love so much.
If his energy is used up, but you’re still yearning for closeness, lavish him from head to toe with luscious kisses, making sure his body is clean. Planting your lips on his face, shoulders, back and everywhere conveys warmth and tenderness. It takes your intimacy into a new level.
Spoon him from behind. Kiss the nape of his neck as you sensually stroke his hair. With this position, husbands usually chill out.
When you have had enough and are finally ready for a second round: I mean some fast two-minute shut-eye sex, give him a quick, sweet peck to wrap up your evening of ecstasy. And don’t forget some of these nerve-packed zones such as the ears.
You’ll make the hair on the nape of his neck stand up if you playfully kiss his ear lobes. Then trace the outline of his ear with the tip of your tongue – bonus points if you whisper all the naughty things you have in store for him.
How about his fingers? Take his pointer finger into your mouth, and suck on it, moving your mouth up and down the entire length in slow, even motions. Then watch his eyes roll back in his head.
The best of all is the chest; a man’s nipple can be as sensitive as your breasts are, but they’re too often ignored. Kissing it sends tantalising feelings through his body, especially if you venture to lick around the areola, gently blowing them dry, and sucking his nipples. You will see him beat all the traffic to be with you.
Note: different situation calls for four crucial kisses. There is the quick “Hi honey” peck. This is the normal I miss you type of kiss, that only welcomes both of you back home. It is the emotionally healing type of kisses. It normally sets the tone for your time together. It makes sure you are free of any hang-over.
Greet yourselves with enthusiasm, and one trick is that both of you will immediately feel loved and appreciated. A high-energy hello smooch is the ultimate way to communicate that excitement and foreshadow the fun to come. You’ll feel that love rush too.
If this is well done, it leads to the second type of kissing. This is when you both wrap your hands around the nape of your necks and pull your faces gently toward each other. When your mouths finally meet, try to maintain a strong but closed-lip seal for up to 10 not-forgotten seconds. Please, try to keep your tongue reined in; this kiss should shoot straight from the lip.
This will lead to the third type of kissing, when you both are gazing into each other’s eyes. Time stands still and body chemistry starts off. This type of kisses can happen anytime and anywhere. Here, you both wrap his arms around your waists. Then seductively work your right hand over your chests and up to the nape of your necks and hold on tight. Here you can tilt your head back and savour the magic of the kisses. What automatically will happen is a yes, please look! This kind of kiss is meant to ignite all of your senses – his hands will roam over your body, and his lips will move gently over yours. This kiss says that he’s emotionally present and in the mood!
QUESTION ONE
I recently got married to a young beautiful girl. My problem is that during sex, she urinates on her body and I find this really disturbing, unusual or rather irritating. I really need help because I love my wife and do not want to lose her. I need an explanation if it is normal and if there is a problem. What is the cure?
It may be possible for the newly-wedded to experience this especially if both of you have not been sexually active before. This may be based on the fact that your bride did not empty her bladder before engaging in sex. There may also be the possibility of her having urinary incontinence which has nothing to do with sex. The pyloric spinster [the elastic ring at the mouth of her bladder] may be weak and if this is the case, she may likely urinate while having sex; this is an involuntary action that she may not be able to control. If this is the case, Kegel exercise is the cure. Sometimes, it might just be as a result of infection of the bladder, which normally happens to some newly-wedded due to the fact that the couples are still a bit clumsy about sex. All you have to do in this case is, make sure you both clean up properly and treat any sexually transmitted disease.
QUESTION TWO
What do you mean by stimulation in sex? My friend who is also married does not know. What do you mean by saying that women have slower response to libido than men?
Stimulation in sex is the act of making all the parts of the body active, alive and yielding to loving touches. This is usually seen when married lovers engage in passionate foreplay. Libido is a term used by medical personnel to explain the sexual taste, level or responses of man and woman.
QUESTION THREE
I got married about seven years ago and the marriage is blessed with two lovely kids. I fall in the category of men who didn’t have the ‘best of times’ sexually before marriage due to parental strictness. Hence, I was looking forward to a sexually enjoyable and explosive marriage. I met my wife a virgin and she never allowed me to have sexual intercourse during our courtship.
The first six months of our marriage was beautiful when it comes to sex between couples. After then, her interest dwindled; she did not initiate sex anymore and I became more of burden anytime I demanded sex at night. I am a Christian and I know what the Bible says about adultery.
These days, I’m lucky when I’m able to have it once in a week; best case scenario is twice in a week. I’ve tried my best to make her happy by buying her gifts from time to time; but the effect does not last long. I’m giving up the fight and I don’t want to look for pleasure outside my marriage, even though the temptation is always there. I’m confused.
It’s good that you have not taken irrational decisions. I would also want to add that you should try and create a time to actually pour out your heart to your wife. I am so sure that when she sees the importance, she would definitely change, because no woman wants to see her marriage destroyed. You can do this by going on a weekend vacation to a quiet and private place together. Keep the children with trusted friends and just go out alone together. This eradicates stress and helps both of you to unwind.
You should also remember that affection and foreplay means a lot to many ladies. If you skip foreplay, most of them feel as if they are being legally raped or put under the knife of a surgeon. Then, make sure that you address her in a befitting manner, and not the way a house girl is addressed.
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