My popular quote on marriage is “Marriage is not to be endured, but to be enjoyed.” Unfortunately for many people, the reverse is the case. Many people are barely getting along in marriage. This ought not to be. Being married should be fun, just like life is meant to be exciting.
One of the reasons we get married in the first instance is for companionship, and one major thing we seek companionship for is to make life exciting, to make life full of fun, and to make life interesting. But excitement is still a mirage to many married couples.
People easily fall prey to getting excitement where they shouldn’t. Many men, and even some women, got into adultery not because they planned for it but because of their quest for excitement. They went into marriage full of expectations but only to become disappointed a few years down the line because their expectations did not march with reality. Life became more of a routine than fun, and no one enjoys life as a routine, not even those who are confined to boredom by marriage or any other thing. Boredom is something man is willing to pay whatever price to do away with.
Couples must make their marriage fun. Your home must be an exciting place to be for you and your spouse, as well as for your children. Your spouse must see you as fun to be with.
Life should not be too serious. Some couples don’t sit down together to crack jokes with one another. They frown around the house. They live life as if life is a disaster. Even when things are not the way you desire them to be, you don’t have to allow them to rob you of your happiness. Together with your spouse, you must learn to enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. Don’t live your life as if you are the one carrying the problems of the whole world on your head. What informs who you are is not your circumstances but your decision.
That anyone is happy and full of life around you is not because life has been favourable to him, it is because he has chosen to be happy and to be full of life. He has learnt to put his challenges and problems aside and enjoy life. Everyone has enough reason to keep them sad and touchy, even those we think life has been fair to.
For your marriage to be fun, s3x must become fun for you and your spouse. Many couples approach s3x as a thing they must do because they are married to each other. S3x must become what you and your spouse want to have because you enjoy having it with each other. It must not be a routine. That is why I don’t advocate couples having ‘set-aside days’ of the week to have s3x. S3x should flow out of our relationship with each other.
That is why Dr Kevin Leman said great s3x begins in the kitchen. As she (wife) is doing the cooking and you (husband) are passing the salt, she puts a piece of meat in your mouth, you use your teeth to cut it into two, and you spit one half into her mouth while you chew the second half. One thing keeps leading to another and right there on the kitchen table, you are having fun. That is what it is meant to be “fun”.
S3x with your spouse should be a fun time. It is not just about you climbing your wife and ‘doing it’ or you lying down there like a log of wood, waiting for him to finish whatever he is doing. Make it as interesting as much as possible. Make innovative about it. Try several methods. Create excitement. Change locations. It doesn’t have to be on your bed and in your bedroom all the time. Every ground is a holy land as long as it is only the two of you that are there.
From experience, I can say that s3x out of the usual place is very exciting and interesting. So, marriage is such great fun for those who have mastered the act of making it so. My book, ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’, is a great tool in this direction.
Cultivating friendship with your spouse also creates great fun. Your spouse should be your best friend and your number-one cheerleader. So, you must do what friends do together: play games, gist about happenings around you and your world, throw nice jabs at each other, and create an atmosphere of love in the home.
People around you should see you are having great fun in your marriage. So, let us have fun in our marriages so that we can enjoy it, and not endure it.
- You can avail yourself of copies of my books ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x. For details, please contact 08112658560. SMS only.
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