In this interview with ADEWUNMI ADEDAYO, the Pro-Chancellor of Dominion University, Oyo State, Pastor Dolapo Adelakun, who recently celebrated her 60th birthday, narrated how God spared her life, among other issues.
HOW do you feel clocking 60?
I feel grateful because I never thought I could get this far. I had health challenges when I was growing up. At the age of 24 when I was on my deathbed, I told God to heal me and spare my life till age 60 and He had fulfilled His part of the bargain, so I feel really grateful because He has indeed proved that He is a good God.
Can you tell us how you have been able to combine the roles of a mother, cleric and a pastor’s wife?
The Bible says we should seek the Kingdom of God first and all other things shall be added unto us and that has been my priority. It has been God, number one; I, number two; then my marriage because I discovered that if I don’t actually love myself, there’s no way I can love my husband and children. If I don’t love God too, it will be difficult to extend love to people around me, so I have decided to prioritise my life and people around me, making God number one. There, he gives me strength to be able to fulfil the other roles as a wife, mother, pastor. He has given me so much strength because he is number one.
What was growing up like?
Growing up was very exciting, we were eight children and all of us are still alive by God’s grace and so, it’s always a full house. We had a very liberal father and a tough mother, so there was this balance of jokes today and beating tomorrow. It was fun because everybody brought their friends for holiday. Sometimes, we would be up to 20 in the house. We didn’t lock the door to the house. So, generally, growing up was really fun.
What things do you do in terms of mentoring younger women?
I have a mentoring school and we actually registered a ministry, Dolapo Adelakun Mentoring Ministry, and there, I mentor younger women who are ministers also, pastors’ wives and women who have their personal ministries, I also mentor young ladies. We do a lot of tutoring and modelling. We do so many things in it apart from the Bible and by the grace of God, many of them are married and doing well in their various assignments. Sometimes, when I go out and I see some of them, they remind me of the 1980s and 1990s when they were under my mentoring ministry. So I thank God for what He is using the mentoring arm to do.
How would you describe the support of your husband over the years?
My husband has been very supportive. I am on the reserve side; I don’t like being exposed to anything, but he is more of an extrovert and he has succeeded in pulling me out of my shell and I’m so always grateful to him. There are so many things that I have learnt from him. I grew up in a family where we always spent big. The more we spent, the more it came back. But, my husband has this attitude of little spending and with the little, I’ve observed that he does a lot of great things. That has helped me in spending, it has made me more prudent. With that one, I really know he has helped my finances because he keeps asking me why I always take money out and won’t bring any to the house. Over the years, I have calmed down financially, taking it bit by bit. He has been a great influence in my life positively and I’m grateful to God for that.
What will be your advice to women going through one thing or the other in their marriages?
There is a scripture God gave me when I was young in marriage. He said be patient and you will finally win. Each time I want to give up, that scripture comes back and tells me to be patient and I’ll finally win. I’ve seen that it is true, so I want to challenge and encourage the younger ones to be patient. You are the one who chose that man; you made up your mind to marry the man, be patient with him. Things might be rough today, but tomorrow is going to be better. God takes us from one level to another. If you decide on getting rid of a man because he has a crisis, then you’re not doing what is right. I always tell many women that if your husband was your son, are you not going to take care of him or stand by him when he is in trouble? So, we have to come to a point that we take the issues as if we are the ones. Jesus said do unto others what you want them to do unto you. That’s my counsel for younger ones; to be patient, they will finally win.
As a pastor’s wife, do you feel there’s a burden of hospitality on you?
I don’t want to call it a burden because it is actually a good assignment. Anytime we have a pastors wives’ meeting, many of them keep asking what the role of a pastor’s wife is and I tell them that the role of a pastor’s wife is the role of a mother. The mother takes care of the child; you clean the child up, clothe him/her, take care of the child. The same thing happens as a pastor’s wife, when our husband gives birth to souls spiritually, the duty of the pastor’s wife is to take care of them, raise them and make their lives better. Although, it will take a lot of insults, and things like that, but as a mother, you have to be tolerant. The roles of the pastors’ wives include taking care of their members, taking care of the flock. It’s not even about money, some people don’t need your money, some need encouragement. These are the roles of pastors’ wives and God has been able to help me.
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