Being a second choice might be an unconscious decision especially when you are trying to please people. It means someone else has been placed above you in your relationship. You aren’t the run to person for your partner or friends. They have less regard for you and hang out with other people then reach out to you when their first option is busy.
Little do you know that being a second choice or in second place in a love relationship or friendly relationship is very harmful to your mental health. Every human being is unique, special and valuable in their own way but subjecting yourself to be someone’s second choice ridicules you and your self-esteem. You wouldn’t want to live your life this way.
You deserve a partner or friends that value and appreciate you for who you are and make you their first choice and not a second choice.
In this article, you will find out reasons you need to stop being an option for your partner or your friends.
1. You deserve to be loved and respected
No one deserves to be hated or disrespected. Being a second choice is disrespectful and it shows that you are barely wanted or appreciated by your partner or your friends. You deserve to be someone’s first and only choice and not an alternative. You deserve love and respect in a relationship or friendship.
You need to realise this and opt out of any relationship or friendship where you are only called upon as an alternative and a second choice.
2. You will always feel insufficient
Realizing that your partner’s utmost attention is diverted towards someone else will always make you feel inadequate. You might feel he or she loves you but the feeling might not be as genuine as the one shown to the first choice.
Knowing this will make you feel there is something inadequate about you that other ladies or guys have adequately. It will be so nice to compliment or appreciate yourself.
3. It makes you settle for less
Most ladies and guys settle into an adequate relationship because they assume the other party loves them. They are usually blinded by love. Being a second choice is not an evidence of love. If you do not avoid this, you will end up settling for less when there is someone out there ready to appreciate your baby steps and to love you genuinely. The earlier you realize you deserve something better, the better for you.
4. It will affect your mental health
Knowing that are regarded as an alternative or a second option in a relationship or friendship can affect you mentally. This is because it cause you to become emotionally down and depressed. Situations like this can also cause anxiety disorder by keeping you awake all night thinking of how to meet up with your partner’s needs to become the first choice. The struggle goes on and on and keeps taking a toll on your mental health.
5. It is a waste of time and energy
Waiting on someone to make you the first choice when they don’t see you as one is a total waste of time and energy. This is because you spend more time, resources, gist and energy trying to please him or her. It takes time and energy to be fully involved in a relationship. If it is not worth your efforts then you need to opt out being an alternative.
6. It is a threat to your self confidence
Being an extra in a relationship makes you feel less of yourself ad will make you lose your confidence sooner or later. Your self-confidence is important as a person who wants to break barriers and stand out. Being a second choice will reduce your confidence about your relationship especially because the person doesn’t chose you first.
7. It causes loneliness
There are high chances of being lonely in a relationship where you are considered the second choice. It is possible you are confined in the relationship with little or no relationship with other parties. You end up spending all your time on your phone while your partner is busy hanging out and having fun with their first choice.
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