AS is typical of a literally dysfunctional society, violence and beastly conduct have continued to be on the rise in Nigeria lately. In particular, at the level of the family, a microcosm of the society where the rottenness usually starts, the incidence of domestic violence, both in terms of its dimension and frequency, has become really disturbing. Hardly does a day pass without the country being regaled with episodes of wife battering and aggravated domestic and gender violence. The new wave of spousal violence in the country should worry everyone, including the government, as it points in the direction of escalating relationship failures, rupturing of bonds at the domestic level and its concomitant insalubrious consequences on the larger society.
More worrisome, however, is the spate of maimings and killings that have now started to attend spousal violence. For instance, Lawrence Itakpe, a 49-year-old man, was recently arraigned before a Yaba Magistrates’ Court, Lagos State, for allegedly killing his wife, Rebecca, at their house in the Ajah area of the state over a disagreement about a sachet of water! Similarly, a man identified as Ndubuisi Uwadiegwu from Enugu State was alleged to have beaten his wife, Ogochukwu Enene, to death over a loaf of bread. In his case, it was allegedly an innocuous request from his wife for money to buy a loaf of bread for their child that reportedly got Ndubuisi so incensed that he launched a hideous attack on his wife. Why would men of stable mind and in control of their reasoning faculty kill their wives over patent trivialities? Indeed, why would any sane and decent man kill his spouse over any matter at all?
It may be argued that the two impulsive and morally depraved men never meant to kill their wives, and that the death of their spouses was an unintended consequence of their unreasonable actions. Perhaps so, but should any reasonable man lay his hands on his wife with any form of adversarial intent? The law should take its course and the alleged murderers should be made to have their just recompense if found guilty. It would appear as if many men are operating at the edge of functional sanity now, perhaps on account of the stress of living and surviving within the context of a deteriorating Nigerian economy. With the seemingly intractable socioeconomic challenges, many men seem to have a short fuse which tends to explode at the slightest push, resulting in the avalanche of spousal violence that the country has had to experience in recent times.
Women are the backbone of any home and their absence from it often results in the collapse of the family. They shouldn’t be objects of oppression, emotional abuse, beatings, rape, character assassination and any other forms of spousal abuse in any society that aspires to have a stable and functional family system. It should, however, be noted that though few and far between, there are cases of women physically abusing their husbands. Indeed, in some quarters, the view is that the preponderance of cases of physical abuse by men on their spouses are mere ventilations of pent-up angst arising from unremitting verbal, psychological and emotional abuse by their wives over time. And because women are seldom physical in their abuse of men, they often get away with it without reprimand. Nonetheless, whoever or whatever is its source, spousal abuse is an abhorrent and uncivilised conduct that should not have a place amongst decent people. Every vestige of spousal abuse represents a descent into the abyss of disorderliness and primitivity that should be the exclusive preserves of beasts.
Rather than being a battle ground or an atomistic enclave where members are in perpetual conflict, maiming and killing one another physically or emotionally, the home should be a place of refuge and sanctuary for family members. The society should, therefore, be deliberate and intentional about citizens’ reorientation and advocacy to reverse the ugly trend of domestic violence, restore family values and stress the importance of upholding these values in all situations and circumstances.
Yes, the tottering economy and its adverse effects on the citizenry might be responsible for the rising violence in general and spousal abuse in particular, but we do not excuse violence and physical attacks just because of or on account of deterioration of living conditions. No amount of social stress can justify the resort to physical violence. Nonetheless, we call on government to work to improve the living conditions of citizens, in order to eliminate hardship as one of the crucial factors causing the escalation of couples’ recourse to violence and precipitate actions including spousal abuse, in the ordinary course of their relationships.
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