Vincent Kuraun writes on the consented proxy marriages by which one or both individuals are not physically present at the ceremony but are being represented by their family members especially with couples who are living across continents:
Advancement in technology is gradually bridging the gap in long distance relationships and for some individuals traditional marriage or customary marriage is no longer practicable simply because virtual marriages also known as proxy marriages are now becoming very common, popular and acceptable in our society.
This is the case of Bisola (not real name) who celebrated her 37th birthday last month and also got married to the love of her life a day after her birthday. For family and friends of Bisola who do not know the groom were so excited hoping to meet him on the day of the marriage ceremony, but their hope was dashed when they were told by the groom’s family that the groom will not be present but he has sent his younger brother to represent him at the wedding ceremony.
Bisola was 29 when her fiancée travelled out of the country with a promise to return and get married to her. But unfortunately things didn’t work out as planned because Daniel is yet to obtain his permanent resident permit and so, coming home to Nigeria means he won’t be able to return abroad.
Despite the setback, Daniel still cares and supports Bisola with everything that she needs here at home. Bisola on the other hand made several efforts with support from her fiancée Daniel to travel and join him but was denied a Visa to get into the country where Daniel is residing.
When she was denied a Visa after several attempts, the two then decided to get married. Both individuals and their families consented and the event was set up. At the event, the groom joined in the ceremony via zoom and the guests were able to see him virtually while a portrait of his picture was placed beside the bride seat.
All other traditional rites including the bride price were done with Daniel’s brother standing in for him as the proxy groom. His kinsmen who were at the ceremony took care of the physical aspect of the traditional marriage.
For some who may not know what proxy marriage or proxy marriage is a wedding in which one or both of the individuals being united are not physically present at the marriage ceremony, but usually being represented instead by other persons. If it happens that both partners are absent at the wedding ceremony then, both couples are represented by proxies.
These kinds of marriage ceremonies are called proxy marriages of marriage in absentia. But what is the validity of such marriages in the eyes of the law?
A Public Interest and Human Rights Lawyer Inibehe Effiong, on his twitter handle @Inibehe Effiong while answering the validity of proxy marriage said, “marriage by proxy is illegal and against public policy. Those who want to marry must be physically present together. A man cannot stay in Nigeria and marry a woman who is in China. There is no provision for that under the law.”
He said this in response to a tweet by a twitter user named Dr Joe Abah who asked if the current law permits remote marriages.
A critical look at the Marriage Act shows that; there are laid down procedures for celebration of marriages. Section 33 of the Marriage Act provides that a marriage shall be null and void if both parties knowingly and willfully acquiesce in its celebration: in any place other than the office of a registrar of marriages or a licensed place of worship (except where authorised by the license issued under section 13 of this Act); or without a registrar’s certificate of notice or license issued under section 13 of this Act duly issued or by a person not being a recognised minister of some religious denomination or body or a registrar of marriages.
Basically, there are two types of marriage in Nigeria; Customary Marriage or what is generally known as Traditional Marriage. This kind of marriage is conducted in accordance with the Customs of both families or parties involved and the most common act here is the payment of bride price and gifts. This kind of marriage can also be called polygamous marriage.
The second type is called Statutory Marriages which is monogamous in nature and can be performed in compliance with the Marriage Act. Here, there are preliminaries to marriage like giving notice at least 21 days which gives allowance for anyone that intends to object to the celebration of the marriage to file a Caveat at the registry where the marriage will be conducted.
The marriage can then be solemnised at a register place of worship. This could be church /mosque as the case may be or at the office of the registrar and the final stage is the signing of the marriage certificate that has to be done by the couple in the presence of at least 2 witnesses and the officiant that conducted the marriage ceremony.
Thereafter, the duplicate of the certificate must be returned to the registrar of marriages within seven days after the marriage ceremony and it will be filed at the local government, only then that the marriage can be considered valid under the Marriage Act.
To affirm the occurrence and validity of proxy marriages in the country, Sunday Tribune spoke with officials of marriage registries both at the local government marriage registries and at the Federal Government registries to ascertain if they conduct proxy marriages and the condition under which they conduct them.
The registrar at the Federal Marriage Registry in Abuja Mr Makolo Tijani, while speaking with Sunday Tribune said; “Federal Marriage Registries does not conduct proxy marriages.
According to him; “Proxy marriage has no place in the Marriage Act and because there is no such condition provided by the Marriage Act, we don’t do such.
“For you to be married at the registry both parties must be physically present and they must follow procedures provided in the Marriage Act.”
Confirming if at all proxy marriages can be registered at the registry, Mr Tijani said; “Under customary law, somebody can be somewhere and the parents may decide to marry a wife for that person. It is practicable in traditional settings but in Statutory Marriage, this kind of marriage arrangement is not allowed.
“Though such marriages can be registered and become statutory marriages provided it is the same marriage but this cannot be done in absentia as both parties must be present before this can be done.” He explained
Also speaking with a senior official at the Federal Marriage Registry in Imo State who chose to remain anonymous said; “These kinds of marriages are not acceptable at the marriage registries.
“We call them Ghost Marriages. Whoever wants to wed, the couple must be physically present. That is the law, any other things rather that this is not acceptable by the registry.
On if someone is being sent to represent either of the parties, he said; “No, we don’t accept representation in our registries.
“You know, oftentimes when two people fall in love, they expect everything to move smoothly but when the love starts going sour one of them will say we did court marriage, the other person will say we never did anything. So we don’t entertain such a thing in our registries.
“Some couples when they are in love, they can accept anything but when issues start coming up they start spilling the beans, so we don’t ever do that here.” He said.
When Sunday Tribune visited two different local government marriage registries in Lagos State, the officials at the registries who also chose to remain anonymous said: “Proxy marriages are not accepted in our registries. There are laid down procedures by Marriage Act and that is what we follow here. Anything outside the marriage Act is not acceptable.
“Though, some cultures in Nigeria, for instance the Igbo and Yoruba cultures recognise marriage by proxy but until this Marriage Act is reviewed. In the meantime, statutory marriage is the only marriage that is currently acceptable at our registries.”
It was reported during Covid-19 pandemic that proxy marriage got additional attention because many couples were simply unable to unite in person because of international flight restrictions. As a result, some countries adopted this method of marriage provided that the marriage was legal in the jurisdiction where it took place.
Proxy marriage in Nigeria, therefore, can only be valid if conducted under customary law where legal requirements prescribe a marriage certificate to be presented. How valid is your marriage?
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