Today again, I am going in the direction of the endangered marriage in this column. Like I said earlier, in the first write up on this, “One thing we all must watch out for, and care about is the status of the marriage institution as an endangered one. One cannot but saunders at the rate at which the marriage institution is fast losing its appeal to many. Don’t get carried away or deceived by the many wedding ceremonies going on in the societies across the nations of the world. The truth is that, with the marriage institution, things are falling apart, and the centre is fast losing its grip. Let not pretend that it’s no big deal. It is, because our society is at the verge of collapse, due to the building blocks coming from the marriage institution. They are compromised and thus, affecting the quality of the super structure of the societal building.
How did we get here, endangering the most important institution of the world? This will be our focus as we journey into the new year,2023. Why? That we all may be challenged to rein in our personalities that are endangering the marriage institution, so that its broken down walls can be rebuilt, and that, without delay.
Today, I am looking at the issue of temptations that married couples are exposing themselves to, that are making the marriage institution to be further endangered. These are due to the economic survival being sought by all. It’s so sad that that much sought after economic survival is destroying the marriage institution, on which the society depends for its reproduction.
These include the following:
Money temptation
The rate at which the marriage institution is affected by the crave for money is growing by leaps and bounds. It’s like married couples no longer care about the sanctity of marriage in this generation. What matters most to many these days, is just to make money. I once had a friend who turned down a great opportunity to travel abroad because he knew it would endanger his marriage. He was honest with himself to state that, going abroad at that time, leaving his wife and a young child would spell doom for the marriage. It was a tough decision to make, and a challenging situation of insufficient finance then. But, today, those challenges have been surmounted and the marriage intact. Many who seized the opportunity of going abroad, don’t have a marriage again, or at best, they make do with the deformed marriage.
The other dimension to this is to expose a wife to lack of money. I once wrote that money matters to women a lot. Only a few would survive without money. So, when you constantly keep your family in lack, and your wife now has to fend for the family, it will endanger the marriage. It will be a great exposure to extra marital affairs. I can tell you that a lot of wives getting involved in infidelity got caught up in the course of struggling to make ends meet for the family. They fell for the men who wouldn’t help without having an affair with them. So, a wife should not be exposed to lack beyond measure, otherwise, she may not survive the temptations out there.
Sex temptation
The other issue that endangers a marriage is lack of sexual fulfilment. This affects both husbands and wives. A sex starved marriage is an endangered marriage. I have handled cases of absentee husbands and wives, and how the marriage got into trouble on the account of sex. Like a popular saying “body no be wood”. That is, you cannot tell the body not to answer the call of nature. Sex is a natural call that must be obeyed. So, how do you want to leave your spouse for years and you expect him or her not to be sexually engaged? I have stories to tell on this situation that are not palatable. In one instance, the wife in order to keep the children afloat financially, got into business, and the business partners lured her into sex. Though a faithful wife, she couldn’t resist the sex temptation for long. Hence, the journey into infidelity. Of course, the husband also was engaged sexual in his own location. The marriage became a deformed union that never remained the same.
There are those who hardly have time for marital sex, and yet expect their spouses to be faithful. I don’t get it. So, when you are not there for him or her, how do you want him or her to deal with the call of nature for sex?
Do you now understand why a lot of married people are falling into sexual immorality, even with persons unbecoming: security aids, house helps, domestic staff and the like. And the victim here is the marriage institution.
Attention temptation
It’s a saying around my world that, whoever gives you attention, will give you direction. This is absolutely true. If you want to have a hold on a person, begin to give him or her attention. Marital vows have been broken because of external attention from the opposite sex.
Don’t allow a person of the opposite sex to give better attention to your spouse than yourself. You must be the number one attention giver of your spouse. Always seek to be in touch with him or her, intentionally. When you are always there for him or her, others lurking around with attention for evil intention will not succeed.
If we will take heed to these things, our marriages will be out of the endangered species group. Marriage is never to be endured but enjoyed.
My books, enjoying great sex life and how to help your wife enjoy sex are still on sale. You can call 08112658560 for details.
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