How well have you fared in your marital dreams? This is the focus of this write up. One thing you need to do as you prepare to enter the New Year is to examine your marriage in the light of the purpose for which marriage was ordained. I have heard over and over during wedding ceremonies, that there are three basic purposes that a marriage must achieve: companionship, sexual fulfilment and procreation. I strongly believe that any assessment of the marital journey must be centered on these three reasons. In addition, one should also take into consideration, each couple’s marital goal, like my own, which is “our lives together will be a song, a poem, a monument to love and a memorial to the Holy Spirit, who brought us together”. There is no better time to carry out such an assessment other than the end of each year, in order to help you work on your marriage in the next year, to achieve a better result. Of course, New Year for your marriage, is also another good time for such an assessment that is, the time of your wedding anniversary.
Purpose of companionship
Companionship stands for friendship, not being alone and standing as one together. How well have you fared in being your spouse’s companion? Are you doing what friends do together? Your spouse is expected to be your best friend. Is that the case in your marriage? Your spouse should be your gist partner, how far is that true with you? He/she is expected to be your confidant, is that the way it’s playing out in your marriage? These are some of the posers for you as we round up the year. Sit down together and examine how well this purpose of marriage is being fulfilled in your marriage, and work on being a better companion of your spouse. There is always room for improvement.
Purpose of sexual fulfilment
If there is anything that husband and wife must do alone together, it’s sex. There should not be any pretext about sex in a marriage. It should flow ceaselessly, as often as possible, based on the good health of the couple. It should also be without selfishness. That is, you should not use your spouse to satisfy your sexual need, without considering his or her satisfaction. You must do all to ensure mutual sexual satisfaction in your marriage. Sex must never be a bargaining power in your marriage. It should not be a case of “what will you give me if I have sex with you?” when you are not a prostitute. This concerns both husband and wife. You must learn the act of sex, using the necessary skills. Don’t be too shy to learn the rudiments of sexual skills. Lack of sexual fulfilment in marriage has done terrible damages to homes, lives and families. You should sit down before the year ends and carry out a thorough assessment of your marriage in the light of the purpose of sexual fulfilment. Work towards becoming better in your sex life. Like someone said “the room of improvement is the only one that should not be left unoccupied.” It could be the magic needed for a supernatural turnaround for your marriage. My book, “Enjoying Great Sex Life” will help you in this direction
Purpose of Procreation
This is one which you don’t have absolute control. It’s beyond you to determine having children. Of course, there are things expected of you to have children in your marriage. You must have sex together, otherwise, this purpose will be defeated. You must deposit your sperm for fertilisation in your wife’s womb. Don’t withdraw at the point of “deposit”. Don’t engage in secret family planning techniques. However, like an adage says “the farmer only makes efforts, bountiful harvest comes from God”. When it comes to bringing forth children, God remains the ultimate. He decides how and when it happens. Technological advancement has improved the chances of having children, and waiting couples should not hesitate to take advantage of these. The world has become a global village for information. So, take advantage of it to plan for achieving this purpose. Never get tired of trying to have your own children. It is one of the benefits of marriage, and it should not elude you.
This December offers waiting couples another opportunity to make their dream of procreation a reality. Get together to assess your situation and consider the options available to you. It’s my prayers that you will smile and laugh in the coming year, 2024, in the mighty name of Jesus, my Lord and Saviour. He is doing it for many, and yours will not be an exception. You will have your own children, too.
Individual marital goal assessment
This is aside from the above highlighted three purposes of marriage. One couple’s goal in the marriage is “to make our marriage a good example for others”. Like I have written, my marital goal is “our lives together will be a song, a poem, a monument to love, and a memorial to the Holy Spirit, who brought us together.” What is your personal goal for your marriage, and how is it playing out so far. Sit down together and examine this so that its achievement could be ensured or sustained, as the case may be. This is a good way of ensuring that your marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. Best wishes for you in this season of celebration. Wishing you a merry Christmas in advance.
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